a few of my favorite things...

j at jellyjules.com tagged for a meme about my 12 favorite things about christmas.  here goes nothing!

1. the smell of the fresh cut pine tree in the house.  i keep threatening to buy a pre-lit fake tree and avoid the hassle, but i would sorely miss that scent.

2. christmas carols.  i just love to sing along to the old standards like bing crosby's "white christmas."

3. rudolph, frosty, the grinch, and the peanuts christmas special.

4.  buying way too many of the fun things the kids want and having an excuse for it.

5.  watching the kids open those way too many gifts.

6.  christmas lights strung on houses.  i wish we lived in a neighborhood where the houses were more visible.  those 'hoods where each house is glittering in the night are wonderful.  as a kid we spent many christmases at my grandparents' trailer park in florida.  almost every place was decorated and we reveled in it.  here is a photo of me at maybe 8 years old in florida...

7.  i was feeling scroogey this year, but begrudgingly went to lowe's on december 1st, bought a damn tree, heaved it into the back of the minivan cursing at the dropped needles and heaved it back out into the garage at home.  swearing at the pine sap all over my hands, i sawed the end off with an angry vigor and dragged the thing through the house, all the while uttering oaths under my breath.  i screwed the damn thing into the damn stand, and that's all the christmas spirit i could take that day.  i told the kids we'd get out the decorations tomorrow.  not to be deterred, they spent the rest of their afternoon diligently cutting, pasting, stickering and sculpting their own homemade ornaments and hanging them eagerly on the tree.  i cried.  they brought the spirit back to me, and i got out the lights and tinsel.  here is an ornament made by s...

8. the pink tinsel tree in s's room that she chose when she was about 2.  it still suits her personality so perfectly, and i love getting it out each year and putting it in her room.

9.  those soft peppermint stick candies.  not regular candy canes but the kind that melt in your mouth, or that you can poke into an orange and suck the orange juice through.  does anybody know what i'm talking about?

10.  the angry throngs of pissy christmas shoppers packed like sardines into understaffed department stores.  just kidding!  at christmas, i LOVE being home with my family, just like the crabby hermit that i am.

11. the madame alexander christmas angel that t and i bought together for our first tree.  i have collected and loved madame alexander dolls since before i can remember, and having her on the top of our tree each year reminds me of all the christmases that we've been a family.

12.  remembering our first christmas with h.  he was a little over a month old, and he was the best christmas present we could ever imagine.  there was a freak ice storm that year, and we were without power for 3 days.  we mostly stayed at our friends' apartment for whom we were pet sitting, but on christmas morning we bundled up and went home to our frigid little house.  we snuggled with our bitty baby while we opened the few gifts we had, and it was really just the warmest christmas i can remember.

will i get a shower today??

at 7:30 this morning i opened my eyes, looked at the clock and realized something.

i was supposed to take coffee to the girl scouts' yard and bake sale by 7:45.

crap! i jumped up, put the first pot of coffee on, got dressed, and got the borrowed carafes out of my van.

brewed the pot of decaf, piled everything in the car, and thanked my LUCKY STARS that the sale was taking place in my neighborhood. i got there by 8, not TOO late, but the earlybirds were circling and would probably have bought a cup or two by now. the girls were red-nosed and freezing, begging me to bring them a pot of hot cocoa.

when i got home, t and h were in a tizzy preparing for their very first cub scout camping trip. the ceremonies started at 11:30, so they had loads of work to get done in time to leave. i was helping them get organized and packed when the phone rang. in only a half an hour they were out of coffee at the sale!

back to the brew center went i, and since i was feeling solicitous toward the girls, i made them a pot of cocoa. then back to the yard sale. the cocoa sold out while i stood there, so i went home, made ANOTHER pot and went back. the girls drank that pot so i made ANOTHER pot and went back.

of course, in between, i was packing for the camping trip, feeding children, dosing children with appropriate cough & cold meds, etc.

finally, the boys left. they even took the DOG! it was just me & my sick girly who was sad to miss the girl scouts' sale. she has a nasty virus that's left her unable to talk. it's WEIRD. also, her throat hurts, she has a croupy cough, and is wheezing when she breathes. i guess it's going around the 1st grade.

i got one more call to bring coffee & cocoa. no problem. i had taken photos of the kids, but had no way to share them. that's when i got the brilliant idea of starting a private blog for our troop. i got to work on that & got it all set up. i think it'll end up being a valuable resource for the troop.

now i'm stuck cleaning coffee pots, carafes and pitchers! it's 1:33 pm... will i ever get to shower?!

we went a-haunting...

ok, a bland post content-wise, but heavy on photos.

a girly leopard...

a boyish doctor who...
a piratical husband...
a daunting duo...


a spooky family...
and a really fun night.

good thing the girly leopard waited until AFTER the best night of the year to burn with fever and start a raspy cough and wheezy breathing. she's home from school today.

7 things...

ML at zee's space tagged me to write about 7 things that happened to me as a teen. reliving even a moment of those years makes me want to choke, but i'll give it a shot.

1. my friend jill was housesitting our senior year and asked me to stay with her so she wouldn't be alone in a strange place. she and her boyfriend were having a fight, so i went to bed. when she finally came up to bed (we were sharing the same one) i was half-asleep, but heard her clearly and distictly say, "keep your tongue and your lips AWAY from my body." "were you worried?" i replied. turns out she was talking to the dog. it's been a running joke ever since.

2. i took a trip across the country with my friend leslie (shout out to les-o-lee!) and her mom and dad when i was 13. we traveled in their naugahyde-upholstered station wagon hauling a camper. it was the first time i had traveled ANYWHERE, and these folks have no idea how badly i was bitten by the travel bug after that. we saw mt rushmore and yellowstone, as well as countless gorgeous campgrounds. check out the extreme hair on my head. leslie and i reconnected a few years ago after i google-stalked her, and have had fun getting to know eachother again.

3. i met my husband. i moved from suburban indianapolis to suburban detroit between my sophomore and junior years. we were 16. here's photographic evidence from the yearbook... we were in a play together. he was my father in the play (the guy holding the plant on the left) and i was a bride (in the middle). so i've known him more than half my life. jill, from #1 was also in the play, and it's where i met her, too.

4. tommy and i were voted class artists our senior year. hoo boy! more extreme hair.

5. i spent the summer after i graduated from high school out west with a geology program through the university of michigan's camp davis. it was based near jackson, wyoming, but during the program we travelled to montana, utah, nevada and idaho. i'll never forget the incredible time i had or the stunning sights i saw. oh, and it was a great way to kill 8 credit hours of science... not my best subject. i have many, many photos, but don't feel like scanning at the moment.

6. after i got back from that trip i had both of my jaws cracked open, replaced, and screwed back together. it was supposed to correct my bite. it was interesting.

7. when i got my driver's license, my folks gave me my dad's old company car to drive. it was a late 80's model 4-door black cutlass. i named him slick elliot. i loved that car. senior year, my friends and i painted poster-paint on our cars before graduation, and the paint baked into the finish, permanently etching the inane crap we had written into the paint of the car. my parents sold him after i graduated and went to college, and he was shortly thereafter wrecked. boo-hoo!

hairy

here's a photo of my hair for all those who requested. i know it's hard to see the color, but i used the camera on the imac and the "photo booth" program that the kids have gone gaga over!

it's my first professional color job in awhile, usually i go with drugstore color as i'm a) not wealthy enough to change my color as frequently as i like and b) i'm extremely fickle with haircolor. actually, i'm extremely fickle with hair styles as well.

off to school to be with my kids! i've got some great art done by s that i need to share soon.

last night i had the strangest dream...

last night i dreamed that buckwheat from "our gang" was battling with medusa the snake haired woman who turned men to stone with her evil gaze ON MY HEAD.

this is what i found when i awoke:

hee hee! no, really, a gorgeous dominican woman tamed my wild curl-bomb head by the poolside last sunday with gobs of vaseline and deft fingers.

check out that fivehead on me! whew.

deep in the heart of taxes

sorry i've been unpresent lately. i've also been unpleasant as i am every year at this time due to being buried neck-deep in tax receipts.

self-employment means keeping track of all your expenses so that you can deduct them. smart people log each receipt into the correct category in quicken each time it comes in. melissa is stupid... she waits until the last possible second to file, add and report deductions to the accountant. melissa was an ART MAJOR. melissa needs a business manager.

in other news, i've been scanning my gram's old photo albums so that she can have them back. she's been busy lately taking a trip down her 97 years of memory lane and i'm hogging 3 of her books. they're absolutely fascinating! i don't know about you, but family histories and geneaology fascinate the heck out of me. here's an example of what i've found...

this is a photo of my great-great grandparents with their 4 sons and one daughter who is my great-grandmother carrie (my mom's dad's mom). my great-great grandfather, david, was a union soldier in the civil war. it's crazy to me that this photo documentation even exists, and that my kids will be able to have a photo of their great-great-great grandparents.

here's another photo of carrie as a baby.

i just love looking at the details and the styles of the clothing and furniture. and check out that smirk on her little face! you don't imagine she was horribly spoiled being the youngest and only daughter of 5 children, do you?

other than those two things i've been up to, i'm packing for our trip to the d.r. since we're leaving on thursday. i can't wait to get the heck outta dodge! i think i need a break.

moe, larry and me

i give up.

you can't really tell from this corny photo, but i've surrendered to my hair. i've let it go curly. and i know, i know, curly wasn't the stooge with curly hair, larry was. and curly didn't have curls, he was bald just like britney. but for the sake of argument, i'm playing curly in this photo 'cause that's what i am. CURLY.

i've had a love/ hate relationship with my naturally curly hair (oh, man, now i sound like that redheaded girl from the 'peanuts.' what was her name? frida?) for most of my life. you know, when you're a kid you just kinda accept the way you look because that's all you've ever known. then, when you start to get self-conscious-- like in junior high-- you begin to fight nature to "fit in" with the trends. luckily, when i started getting self-conscious, BIG HAIR was, like, TOTALLY in. the curls reigned. topped with feathered bangs coated in hairspray, styled in a triangle shape.

between then and now, i've had my hair in every size, shape, length and color known to beauticians. but let's face it... the past decade especially has been rife with straight, straight and more straight hairstyles. you had a choice between stick-straight, pin-straight, and straight as a line. i chemically straightened, dried with a fire-hot blowdryer, scalded with a flat iron, and mourned when it rained. don't get me wrong, i could never quite get rid of the curlies at my temples, and the ends always kinda flipped up, but at least i was "with it."

well, not anymore. growing it out again has been painful this time around, and one day i accidentally let it go, and the curls actually looked better than the straight. i surrendered.

most people say it looks good! kinda flapperesque. kinda modern. i think they're just being nice. they tell me that curls are back IN, baby! i don't know whether or not to believe them. i don't really care. it's easier not to fight. it's easier to give up.

in-VAL-id IN-va-lid

in a cruel twist of the english language, the word invalid, a noun meaning one who is incapacitated by a chronic illness or disability is the exact same word as invalid, an adjective meaning not legally or factually valid; null. how fair is that?

i don't make a very good invalid, i guess that makes me an invalid invalid. i've recovered so quickly that my only real complaint at this point is fatigue. i haven't taken pain meds in DAYS, i i've gotten up and gotten the kids ready for school every day this week, and have provided a rudimentary and simple dinner for my family each night. i've done laundry and done light cleaning, and even managed a short trip to walmart. needed a nap after that one!

but also as an invalid i feel somewhat invalid. lame, useless. i don't like to be told what i can't do, and i don't like NOT being able to perform tasks. part of it is doctor ordered things such as "no heavy lifting." part of it is things i don't have the stamina for, like walking the dog her usual mile a day. other things are stressful things like adding up tax deductions that i simply can't afford to wear me down at the moment. i'm not used to this feeling of uselessness, and always have this bull-headed charge ahead attitude, so this is KILLING me!

every day gets a bit easier, a bit better, but don't expect any triathlons soon. for that matter, don't expect any triathlons at all! now THAT just doesn't sound like fun to me. thinking about a triathlon makes me almost glad to be an invalid invalid.

home again!

hey- yo!

i want to tell everyone i'm home from the hospital, and honestly doing really well. for major abdominal surgery, that was a piece of cake. i remember waking up in the recovery room and grinning... it's all over!

even the hospital stay was fine. the bed was unbelievably comfortable, so i snoozed fitfully as i needed. my pain is well under control, and i am moving around as much as i feel able.

thanks to everyone who came by here and wished me well, it honestly meant so much. sounds like most of you would gladly go through this for the chance to be "free" too! i am positively liberated... not only from those x-es (tampax and kotex) but from my uterus and it's problems, too. and susan, just a couple of weeks ago i read that they were doing the very first womb transplant surgery! however, i'm not sure anybody would have wanted mine. not that it wasn't good for the baby process, just not the rest of it. what i was offering up in my post (anybody interested??) are all those feminine hygiene products!! anybody want them? anybody?! they're freeeeeeee!

bidding farewell to a couple of x-es.

**although delicate language is used, this post contains "girl issues." sensitive ones beware!**

goodbye, tampax. goodbye kotex!

it's been an-- interesting-- 20 year relationship, but i'm afraid i must bid you farewell. oh, i know, we've spent SO much time together, but it's simply time for me to move on.

it was a dysfunctional relationship from the start-- let's face it-- with me relying on you far more often than i should have had to. you must have felt so USED! regardless, that type of behavior went on for almost 11 years until i became pregnant with my son. our break-up that time was about 2 years, some of the best years of my life. i should have suspected something, huh? we tried again for a year, but alas, i was pregnant and nursing again. this second break-up lasted again for almost 2 years, and by this point i should have learned my lesson. i honestly never wanted to see you again.

the allure was strong, and we gave it a third shot in 2002. it's been 5 years now, guys, and my over-reliance on you has not changed, not matter how many methods i try to stop it. my patience hasn't worn thin, it has simply worn OUT. it's time for me to break up with you.

tomorrow morning i am going to the hospital to have removed the one thing that keeps us in a permanent state of togetherness-- my womb. yes, that's right. my dysfunction is at an end, and i will no longer need you as a crutch to get through the tough part of my month. don't worry, they're leaving my hormone factory intact, and they won't even make any exterior incisions! but i hope you understand that this will mean the end of the road for you and me.

and i'm honestly thrilled.

i'll find you a new home, guys-- there are millions of needy women out there just waiting to have a relationship with you! you'll be a really great partner for some lucky girl out there! just not me any more.

so thank you, and good bye forever.

melissa

finders keepers

way back in 1993, t and i were two fools in love and had decided that we would like to get married.

"do you want a ring?" he asked me.

ever the practical girl, i said, "no thanks," and the discussion was dropped. we'd get married sooner or later, and a pricey, formal engagement ring wasn't the important part. being together forever WAS. mind you, i wasn't quite 20 years old yet. waaaay too young, but i'm glad nobody tried to talk me out of it.

not too much later, we went to a renaissance faire near san bernadino, california. there were many wonderful vendors of renaissance-themed wares and delicious food, but it was when i saw the benitez jewelry booth that i stopped in my tracks. this was simply the most unique "formal" jewelry i had ever seen. usually i go in for the clunky or modern sterling jewelry with brightly colored stones. this work was an eclectic mix of my style and a more traditional style. i was smitten.

i called t over and said, "remember how i said i didn't want an engagement ring? well, can i change my mind?" he laughed and was agreeable to the idea and secretly i think he may have wanted a ring on my finger, whether or not it looked traditional. we browsed and talked, tried on rings and wavered. i just couldn't decide which ring would be THE one. the one i would wear for the rest of my life. the symbol of promise. hmmmm...

"do you make wedding sets?" t asked steve, one of the crafters. heanswered yes, and proceeded to show us many lovely sets, almost all with yellow gold and diamonds. not really my thing. we asked if he ever custom made wedding sets, and he said, "sure!"

the three of us looked at existing designs, and came up with one that would suit me. one that was white gold with an emerald (much like the photo-- that one is not mine) with two garnets-- t's birthstone-- as embellishment. a week or so later, we picked up the finished product, we drove to griffith observatory overlooking los angeles, and on the roof he officially proposed to me. guess what? i said yes.

fast forward to yesterday.

i couldn't find my watch and rings. i string them all together, and often unconsciously take them off and put them in odd places around the house. it never takes me long to find them, but yesterday i couldn't. not on the computer desk, not by the tv. not in my purse or makeup bag. not on the entertainment center. not ANYWHERE that they usually fall. i kept my cool, went without them all day (a weird feeling) but vowed to look harder today. i hadn't seen them since tuesday.

panic set in when we returned from dance, and my search of the familiar haunts turned up nothing. not even a clue. i asked the kids if they'd seen them but hey! they're kids! they can't even keep track of their own stuff. getting crabbier and crabbier, i went through scenarios of accidentally throwing them away, the kittens getting them and knocking them to the floor, i mean, the possibilities are endless in this house!

as i got more and more frantic, the anxiety of actually having possibly LOST my precious, one-of-a-kind wedding ring was getting unbearable. i had looked in sofas, under tables, on beds, in drawers. no luck. then the thought hit me... what's the most UNLIKELY place i may have put them? and luckily, i had my answer.

they were in my jewelry drawer.

go figure.

now you have yet another glimpse into the insanity that is my life and my mind. but i have MY RING! and i am so happy to have it back on my finger.

the more things change...

the more they stay the same!! me, circa 1980, with my nose buried in a book. some of my relatives thought that something was "wrong" with me because i was constantly reading. it's just NOT NORMAL!

i've been perusing and scanning old photos while it snows outside and the kids enjoy their little break from the ordinary. it's loads of fun, and is taking me on several trips down memory lane.

we'll be back monday night!

the struggle for good over evil

the struggle was in vain, mom & dad.

the evil me won the contest. but as a concession, if you scroll to the bottom of the front page of the blog, there is a HUGE happy me. i don't know why it posted so huge, but it's so large that it looks like a monument to my ego. which it's not.

but the blogger id photo stays the same until i can come up with something snarky yet somehow pretty at the same time. my apologies, and i hope that i am still welcome in your home. am i still welcome in your home?

on another note, thanks for voting y'all. you're the best, and also very honest. the vote helped to confirm what i hoped i already knew... the evil me wins in the end.

mistaken identity

my lovely, wonderful parents, the very people who gave me life and raised me to be the adult i became, have a very serious problem. a very, very serious problem. THEY DON'T LIKE MY BLOGGER ID PHOTO. they don't like it at all. every time i see them, they ask, "when will you change that terrible, mean photo of yourself on your blog? you're so much PRETTIER than that!"

now, keep in mind that they ARE my parents, and to them, i'm probably the prettiest girl alive because, duh! they're biased! just like the rest of us are when it comes to our own children. but let's face facts. i am who i am, and i think the mean ol' photo of me expresses a level of my personality that a pleasant ol' photo maybe never could. but i'll put it to the test!

here are two photos... the first being a pleasant alternative, and the second being my original fauxhawked evil twin. for now, there will be no more alternatives because i don't feel like expending the energy it would take to dress up in a zillion stupid ways and post crazy pictures of myself in strange getups and odd situations, even though that may cause much hilarity.

the deal is, YOU GET TO VOTE. in the comments section, write which one YOU think i should have as a blog id photo, and whichever one wins, i will have. that way, i've given my readers an alternative, and my poor parents a chance, and may the best (or worst) photo win.

ps. mom & dad, if you leave a bunch of anonymous comments voting for the "nice" photo, i'll know it's you. no cheating.

option A: pleasant melissa

option B: EVIL TWIN!