Wednesday, January 31, 2007

bidding farewell to a couple of x-es.

**although delicate language is used, this post contains "girl issues." sensitive ones beware!**

goodbye, tampax. goodbye kotex!

it's been an-- interesting-- 20 year relationship, but i'm afraid i must bid you farewell. oh, i know, we've spent SO much time together, but it's simply time for me to move on.

it was a dysfunctional relationship from the start-- let's face it-- with me relying on you far more often than i should have had to. you must have felt so USED! regardless, that type of behavior went on for almost 11 years until i became pregnant with my son. our break-up that time was about 2 years, some of the best years of my life. i should have suspected something, huh? we tried again for a year, but alas, i was pregnant and nursing again. this second break-up lasted again for almost 2 years, and by this point i should have learned my lesson. i honestly never wanted to see you again.

the allure was strong, and we gave it a third shot in 2002. it's been 5 years now, guys, and my over-reliance on you has not changed, not matter how many methods i try to stop it. my patience hasn't worn thin, it has simply worn OUT. it's time for me to break up with you.

tomorrow morning i am going to the hospital to have removed the one thing that keeps us in a permanent state of togetherness-- my womb. yes, that's right. my dysfunction is at an end, and i will no longer need you as a crutch to get through the tough part of my month. don't worry, they're leaving my hormone factory intact, and they won't even make any exterior incisions! but i hope you understand that this will mean the end of the road for you and me.

and i'm honestly thrilled.

i'll find you a new home, guys-- there are millions of needy women out there just waiting to have a relationship with you! you'll be a really great partner for some lucky girl out there! just not me any more.

so thank you, and good bye forever.



Da Mommy said...

is there a delicate way to say I'm thrilled for you? Hope all goes well and recovery is quick and uneventful. Secretly? Wish I was right behind ya!!

beenzzz said...

Good luck to you Melissa. I hope that the surgery and recovery goes well. I too have a love/hate relationship with my womb. Endo is the culprit! Take care, ok!

Lotus Reads said...

Hey, Melissa!

From what you've expressed in this wonderfully-written post, it does seem to me you're better off without it. Here's wishing you a safe procedure and a very quick recovery! Our thoughts are with you. Please take care, ok. See you soon!!!

Autumn's Mom said...

Good you are looking at this positively. Good luck and have a speedy recovery. I have often wished I could donate my baby factory to someone who truly needs or wants it. Because I just don't need it anymore!

hellomelissa said...

thanks for all the well wishes y'all! i'll see you on the other side!

da mommy-- i know loads of folks who wish they were next in line! although it kinda stinks to need surgery to achieve such a great ending!

beenzzz-- oh, i'm so sorry about the endo. it can be terrible to live with as well.

lotus-- yes, better off without it is right!

autumn's mom-- couldn't have said it better myself.

Susan in Italy said...

Hey Melissa, I'm in line wishing you a speedy recovery and an easier life afterwards. But, am I the only one who's never heard of this? You can donate a womb to an infertile woman? Wow! That's great ,I guess. Is this a hysterectomy? Sorry, I guess I'm a little out of the loop.

Angela in Europe said...

Um, I am happy for you, but am also wishing you good luck. I will tell your womb bye as well. ARe you having a farewell party?

Angela in Europe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Secret Pal said...

I too would like to line up.

Praying for a safe op and recovery.

Jay said...

My first thought is to say "lucky duck" , but then, this is surgery we're talking about here, so for now I'll say try to rest comfortably and recover quickly...and then in a month's time, when you're lauding the benefits over us, then I'll call you a duck.

Man, I've been anticipating menopause since I was 19. When will it be my turn?

J said...

Good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinking of you. Take it very easy.

ML said...

Best of luck with your surgery! Hoping for a fast recovery. I'm so excited that you don't have to use the "X's" anymore :-)