alone

both kids got on the bus this morning to go to school. i dropped t off at the airport on his way to toronto for the weekend comic expo. he'll be there with his buddies, the blvd, for anybody reading this who may be going.

on the way back from the airport, i thought of all the places i could go, all alone, and take all the time i wanted, just looking. as i passed store after mall after strip mall, i thought that honestly i just wanted to come home and be ALONE. i have until 3:10 today, then 8 hours tomorrow to just be by myself, with my own thoughts.

being ALONE is something that has been utterly elusive to me as the mother of two, and the wife of a work-from-home husband. chaos and goings-on have been ingrained in my psyche for so long, i've forgotten the therapeutic quality of peace with oneself. there are a million things that need doing around here, especially outside. but THANK YOU ernesto for pounding us with torrential rains, granting me a temorary reprieve from yardwork. the house could use some work, too, but that can be done WITH kids and husband around. plus, my ipod is on the blink (sniff) and i can't do housework without it.

i think i'll eat yummy food, namely the QUART of delicious tomato-basil soup i picked up from nantucket cafe. maybe i'll take a nap. paint, knit, read, and pet the animals. maybe a soak in a blazing hot bathtub. perhaps play MY music REALLY LOUD in the house with no one to complain of my yodeling along. and at the end of my two selfish days, i think i'll be a whole lot better equipped to handle the rest of the world again. don't you??