for the first 5 years of our daughter's life, we could have given her away. she was one of those easygoing kids who would let anyone pick her up, hug her, kiss her, anything. after having a son who wouldn't even LOOK at anyone else before he was 5, she was a novelty. babysitters? no problem. grandparents? no problem. preschool? no problem. we were flabbergasted. we could have told her that she was going to live with another family and that she'd never see us again and she would have said, "BYE!" in this scaryish world, it was a little bit freaky.
right around the time she turned 6, the whole situation began to change. toward the end of kindergarten she started worrying about playdates at friends' houses and wanting me to stay with her for the entirety. then, she wept bitterly on the last day of school for the teacher that she'd bonded with. she even slept with her picture that night and cried for her intermittently over the summer.
when t and i went to london last summer, we left the kids with a VERY familiar grandma & grandpa, just as we have done several times over the past 2 years. she was inconsolable. "BUT IF YOU LEAVE ME HERE, THEN I WILL MISS YOU!" she wailed. while we were gone, it was better than before we left, but still was an emotional struggle for both her AND my folks. not to mention t and me!
after a month with my folks, she cried about leaving them. occasionally, i find her in tears, only to discover that she misses them. i can't help at these moments to feel a little despair, like, what's next? the leaves on the trees? the daffodils? the CAR?
since school began, she has had MORE than an average amount of bad days. there are almost no more playdates or sleepovers (although she will attend girl scouts with our neighbor). she cried regularly for her daddy on his recent business trips. on sunday nights she is hysterical. "i only get two days with you and then i have to go back to school!" she hiccups. i tried giving her something to have, of mine, to console her at school. "it didn't work," she said, "it only made me cry SO HARD when i saw it!" and she LOVES school! she wants to go! she just wants me there, too. and one day a week, i am there!
i know many many of you parents out there have lived with this in some shape or form, but this is beginning to tear me up. she's the apple of my eye, and i love her so dearly, but when i find her curled up in a ball, crying, and when i ask why, she says, "it's just 'cause i love you so much!" a part of me melts, but a part is so frustrated. i keep thinking it's just a phase, but the longer it goes on, the more i'm wondering if we may need a little help.
anybody have a suggestion? the end of my rope is coming up fast, and i may still have a long way to go on this one!